Choices

In this entry we'll be talking about the questions of how people become who they are. Through experiences? What about the much talked about choice? Can we really choose to become who we choose to become? If that is true why then are there so many people who led and are leading unhappy lives? Is that what they choose?

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Have you become someone you chose to become?

There are many many questions in life that are often left unanswered (at least for now) and some answers that do not really complement the question. One of these questions have always been that of how people become who they are. People, whether around me or on the net, the TV, are different. And the fact that they are different makes me wonder can any two people agree on everything their whole life? The antiphon came to me quite recently as a very big no. If anyone was to say otherwise one of the two people that he or she referenced would most probably be lying..

The reason being this: We being molecular objects (i mean our physic) can never really step into each other's shoes to experience what another person have, having the same line of thought and judgement at the time we experience it; as the person did. Even though two people may experience one same situation in their lives, one would have a different experience from the other.

There are two reasons for this. One is that we all are constrained by two things: time and space. We can never really be at two places at the same time (even though some technological advancements allow us to communicate through great distances and time). At the same situation in the same area of space two people cannot be standing in the same area and position. One situation is always looked at from different angles; slight difference counts.

So what i am trying to say is no one ever shares an experience, they may experience it together but at different angles and different levels of thought and feeling.

The other reason for us having different experiences even though we might be living on the same planet, country, home, or room is that of the fact that we already each have a past of many different experiences that would eventually affect how we see, learn, judge and feel in situations. A situation filled with great sorrow for one might not be quite the same for another.

How each person has experienced the many happenings in their lives and how each person decide to react to any of the situations and what is going on in the persons' mind when those situations happened all have profound impact in the formation of what kind of a person one becomes.

Things as small as deciding not to brush your teeth today, deciding to dance rather than sit at a corner at a party, getting a haircut, listening to your mp3 on the train rather than the sound of the moving train and the people talking, all affects who we are and who we might become.

However, something rings louder than the uncontrollables steering our lives and making us become who we are. It is one word. And that word is choice. Have you experienced something that is never affected by choice? Even though we are not in control of everything, even though we do not choose every single thing that happens to us, every single thing that happens to us can be or rather is affected by our choices. Nothing can illustrate this better than this story:

There was a man, lets call him jack, he had many problems and challenges in life. He was a heavy smoker, a gambler, a drug addict, a alcoholic and was jailed twice for violence and abuse. Jack had two sons one named john and the other named russel. They both grew up under the "support" of jack and their mother.
Jack's situation was really worst; up to a point where he was charged with killing a man and got a life sentence in jail.

John and russel both grew up but they walked quite different paths. Russel, like his father, became a drug addict and was involved with lots of fights. He was jailed three times for gangfights and drug trafficing.. John on the other hand has a well paid job, a family, a paid house, a car etc. John has great lifestyle with his family and was very successful with his job.

A reporter from ABC times read about jack and was really interested in why there was two different outcomes from the very same kind of way both children have been brought up, so she visits russel, who was serving a jail term for drug trafficking, and interviews him.

One of the questions that she asked was this: "What do you think is the reason you became who you are today?"

And russel said: "With a father like that, who do you want me to become?"

In addition she visited John at his home, she asked the same question again...

What do you think is the reason you became who you are today?

The answer came...

"With a father like that, who do you want me to become?"